June 04, 2017

Good Evening, this is Shelter Pontificate and this is the blues.

JRO Space recently completed week-long tour of the lands of Oklahoma, Kansas and Missouri – taking the company’s show on the road with launches near Blair, Oklahoma, Densmore, Kansas and ending the tour near Columbia, Missouri.

The series of launches began last week near Blair – the home town of the company’s CEO, J-RO. As always, the launches were plagued with successes and failures.

The midpoint of the launch sequence was on a farm near Densmore Kansas – a much more successful series of launches.

The Honey Badger III ended with a crash.

J-RO has began rebuilding the rocket and is rumored to launch the Honey Badger IV soon, according to sources.

The conclusion of the launches ended with rocket cars – which included crashes, spins and a lot of smoke.

For JO News, this is Shelter Pontificate, and that’s the blues.

May 25, 2017

Good Evening, I am Shelter Pontificate, and this is the blues.
Tri-state launches are scheduled across Oklahoma, Kansas and Missouri in the coming days as J-RO Space has packed up its devices for expressive tour of those lands. A local farmer near Blair Oklahoma has offered up his land that has an apparent scenic view for photography. A similar negotiation has occurred with farmers near Norton Kansas as J-RO plans to launch there as well.
The tour will end sometime next week back in Missouri with a capstone of the introduction of a new rocket car design as well as the application of rocket car modifications, based upon previous test results dealing with the failed cluster rocket car and the 30 Newton rocket car. 
For JO News, I am Shelter Pontificate, and that’s the blues.
#JROspace

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May 25, 2017

Following the recent success of two untethered rocket car prototypes, JROspace has begun work on two more designs due for launch this Sunday morning. JO News has obtained behind the scenes footage of the JROSpace workshop.
According to sources, one rocket car is a cluster rocket that is designed to fire on three engines in a cluster configuration. The success of this rocket seems unlikely as JROspace has only had limited success with its cluster rockets.
Another design is to be powered by a 30 Newton D-class thrust rocket engine. According to sources, JRO is struggling with a way to keep this car on the ground and veering out of control due to the massive thrust on such a light chassis.
For JO News, this is Shelter Pontificate, and that’s the Blues.
#JROspace

May 25, 2017

J-RO Space is planning a special holiday launch this Easter Sunday that will have a very religious aspect to it.
At least two rockets are designed with a “holy” artistic appeal, according to J-RO Chief Executive Officer, J-Ro. This launch comes one week after J-Ro had attempted on two occasions to fire two cluster rockets with no success. Last week was not a total loss, however, as the launch provided a successful launch of the Fake News Rocket and the Honey Badger III.
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To date, five rockets are slated to launch this Sunday. One is a tiny rocket measuring only 17.8 cm weighing a little less than 10 grams at launch. The grand presentation is the rocket Vimana, which appears to be the most religious – as the rocket resembles a religious structure of some sort. 
J-Ro has enlisted a local artist to add dazzling details to the rocket.
“I wanted to do something that to honor religious tolerance, and all religions, and the freedom of religion here in America and the world,” said J-Ro as he texted a picture of a new tattoo that he received several months ago that he says signifies his message of religious tolerance.

How J-Ro plans to do this is still a bit of a mystery, however, undisclosed sources had told JO News that J-Ro has been composing a version the old hymnal “Holy God Almighty” in his music studio the last couple of days. #JROspace

May 25, 2017

While J-Ro SPACE has apparently made strides in the organization’s ability to launch rockets successfully, its rocket car program still seems to fizzle out with each successive test. As from this exclusive footage, previous attempts have been an embarrassing disaster, evident by smoke, sparks and a tumbling rocket car.

May 25, 2017

J-Ro SPACE to launch this weekend, rumors abound
Talk of incompetence and outdated know-how surface
Sept. 9, 2016
Columbia, MO:  J-Ro SPACE has been planning a rocket launch at an undisclosed location for this weekend somewhere in Columbia, MO. A launch that has been surrounded by rumor, drama, and questions of incompetence directed toward the company’s Chief Executive Officer, J-Ro.
 J-Ro is best described as an eccentric mathematician, that many have doubts about his ability to accomplish a successful launch. The start-up organization has reportedly never had a successful launch, and J-Ro’s experience goes back decades, however, it been a decade since he has put his hands on a rocket. While J-Ro’s experience does go back to the age of 10 years, his last successful launch was in 1991. Rumors also have surface about lacking logistical revenue, shortages, and whether the launch system will arrive in time for the tentative launch date. 
 J-Ro is also reported to have a plethora of health problems leaving many wondering about his endurance level needed to conduct the event properly. He apparently has trouble driving vehicles with more than two-wheels. He was quoted once in a leaked health report, “I just feel a lot more comfortable riding a motorcycle than driving a car.”
 Whether this event will end in a disaster or a success is a question that has opinions on both sides. “Ah... I'll cheer for the eccentric engineer,” said Roxy Rose, who lives near the J-Ro SPACE facility and often peers over the fence in curiosity. She claims to have actually spoken with the recluse.
 Security is tight around the compound.
 “I got the feeling [J-Ro] wants to set rocket off soon.” said another neighbor, Ruthie Rutherford, “but I hope I can watch… I've never seen anything like that.”
 There is also rumors that the CEO is obsessed with retro rockets from the 80s. Undocumented reports and exclusive video from other news sources appear to show J-Ro constructing the estes rocket named “Yankee,” a rocket that has been around from the time that estes rockets first started their business, selling them to Cub Scouts.  A coffee-stained invoice recovered near the J-Ro site indicates that J-Ro SPACE is requisitioning another 1980s estes rocket relic, the “Photon Probe.”
Most experts say, that the launch is unlikely and will never happen.
The CEO's best friend, Cookie Wookie is quoted by one source as saying, "He don't know what he is doing," in an unofficial comment. Wookie was reported to have made this comment after a long duration of lack of treat distribution as the company’s supply lines had been stretched in the early design efforts. But inside sources point out that she may have had a personal issue with the CEO at the time.
When we contacted her, she denied everything saying “such things about my best friend…unheard of!” She said that she finds this press attack as unethical, but asked if we had any extra slim jims in the press van. A payoff? Not sure.
“Well, even best friends don't get along all the time,” said Rose. “She was hungry!” 
 Some sources claim that J-Ro SPACE sees this as a test launch to ensure systems are in check for more launches of greater height in the future. It seems that the organization is only planning to use esstes rocket engines of size A8-3 which are of limited thrust and are usually used for maiden launches.